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Attaining The Good Life as a PMP Project Manager

 
Aristotle The Good Life

by Don Goewey

We all want to live a good life. And it is just as true that most of us want the life we live to open the way for an even better life for the next generation. It is an ideal that has been with us for more than 2,000 years. The ideal of the Good Life was originally formulated by Aristotle around 400 BC in the Nichomachean Ethics. It served as the vision and aspiration that sustained the Greeks for hundreds of years in advancing one of the greatest civilizations in human history. Ironically, Aristotle’s ideal does not define a life situation, such as material wealth. Rather, it defines an attitude toward life.

Thought Attacks That Cause Heart Attacks for PMP Project Managers

 
Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers

by Don Goewey

Mark Twain once said, “I’ve been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” I call this “Thought Attacks.” Thoughts attacks are fearful thoughts that, when believed, escalate into negative emotions that produce perceptions of threats. It is the reactive mind that repeatedly mistakes a stick for a snake. Dr. Robert Sapolsky — the famous stress researcher at Stanford and author of Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers — states: “We humans are smart enough to generate all sorts of stressful events purely in our heads. We can experience wildly strong emotions, provoking our bodies into an accompanying uproar, all linked to mere thought.”

The Question That Transcends Stress

 
By Don Goewey

Fear is the trigger for a stress reaction. If you are stressed, biologically you are in some form of fear.


So, whenever you feel stressed on the inside:


The relevant question to ask yourself is:


What am I afraid of? 


Ask what am I afraid of five or six times and let the answers come straight from the brain’s primitive fear center, called the amygdala. The amygdala is in charge of fight or flight. It is a highly paranoid feature, designed to see potential calamities but often it mistakes sticks for snakes. Its language is raw, edgy and negative. During the exercise, don’t edit or sugar-coat what it tells you. Allow the amygdala to forecast all the fearful things it tends to predict. Exposing these illusions to the light of day nullifies its power to torment you.


For example, your credit card bill is larger than you expected and the fact scares you. The amygdala is likely to start predicting outcomes that gradually paint the mental picture of you being thrown into poverty. Of course, it’s not true. However, this thought, when operating unconsciously, can form an emotional cloud that darkens your mood and makes you vulnerable to misperceiving events and overreacting.


Once I conducted the What Am I Afraid Of? exercise, one on one, with a prominent corporate lawyer. The lawyer was in litigation, about to go to court, and he was immobilized by stress. So, I asked him, in this legal situation, what are you afraid of?

Transmitters of Life

 
By Don Goewey

I don’t like work,” Joseph Conrad once wrote. “No man does—but I like what is in the work— the chance to find yourself. Your own reality—for yourself, not for others—what no other man can ever know.”

How do we find ourselves in work, especially in menial chores? There is a stanza in a poem by D.H. Lawrence that I think points the way. “As we live,” the poem goes, “we are transmitters of life. And when we fail to transmit life, life fails to flow through us. Give and it shall be given unto you is still the truth about life. It means kindling the life-quality where it was not, even if it’s only in the whiteness of a washed pocket-handkerchief. “

I needed that poem today. I was cleaning the house and the way I approached my chores transmitted stress, not life. I was edgy and tense because I didn’t want to clean. I fought with a broken appliance I had to fix and felt victimized when one of the screws wouldn’t unscrew. I was like a trickster god was tightening the screw as I was trying to loosen it. I even became cross with my wife when I found the dishwasher loaded with dirty dishes. ”That’s here job, not mine,” I mumbled to myself.  For the first half hour there was no order or flow to the way I worked. I was pushing through it, resenting having to do it and wanting to be done with it as quickly as possible.

The Biggest Brain Myth of All

 
By Don Goewey
“Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.” Pablo Picasso

There is a myth about the brain that needs busting (Baby Boomers, take note).  The myth says we lose brain power as we get older.  It’s not true. In the last 10 years science has discovered a property of the brain called neuroplasticity, which is the way new stimuli and learning experiences reshape, reorganize, reintegrate and revitalize higher order brain function to tap more of your innate creative potential, no matter how old you are.

Your brain retains this neuroplastic quality throughout your life span. In short, brain power actually increases as you use it to stretch yourself in creative ways. Using a long neglected talent lights-up the neural networks in which it is embedded. The more you use it the more the brain expands these networks, integrating them with other networks to generate the related skill set that can produce something meaningful.

Many scientists consider neuroplasticity to be the most important discovery in medical science in the last 100 years. Neuroplasticity has expanded science’s view of human potential. When it comes to our potential for growth it appears that the sky is the limit.

What does this mean for Baby Boomers (or any one) who once dreamed of writing, painting, playing a musical instrument, flying a plane or learning a foreign language? It means they can pick up where they left off and, from there, develop their talent and skill. It’s never too late.

A Mountain Was My Greatest Teacher of Peace

 
By Don Goewey

Ironically, my greatest teacher on the sheer power of peace was a dangerous mountain called Mt. Shasta, which is the second highest mountain in the continental United States. Shasta is glacial and classified as a technical climb, meaning you need crampons, an ice ax, a hard hat, special clothing and boots, a subzero sleeping bag, and a long list of other essentials to undertake the journey. You also need to be in excellent physical condition.

As in life, externals are not unimportant. The mountain is unforgiving of those who neglect even small details in preparing to make the climb. It can seem very complicated and daunting, but climbing Mount Shasta demands more than being tactically prepared. It requires an attitude of absolute simplicity and humility. This attitude can be absent in people who come to the mountain with the primary goal of “bagging” her. Hubris is lethal in mountain climbing. However, to a humble heart that surrenders to Mis Misa, the name native people have given her, the mountain becomes a guiding hand. In the beginning, my mind was preoccupied with reaching my destination, which was the summit. After a few hours, this goal became blurred in weariness, and my focus shifted to more immediate locations. I began to fixate on small plateaus or crevices just ahead that promised a place of rest. These positions almost always turned out to be a mirage of shadow and light, which was discouraging.

The higher I climbed, the harder it got, and for the first couple hours, my mind complained incessantly about the hardship, undermining the positive attitude it takes to reach the top. It badgered me with: What have I gotten myself into? What was I thinking when I decided to do this? It’s crazy to go on. I can’t make it. This mountain is going to kill me. Eventually, I realized that my mind was making me miserable, depleting my physical and emotional energy. I realized I had to let go of reaching any destination at all. I had to stop thinking and begin disciplining myself to focus on the step I was taking, to be fully present in the moment and alive in the experience. It is as Eckhart Tolle stated in his book The Power of Now: The moment you completely accept your nonpeace, your nonpeace becomes transmuted into peace.

Vacations Rebuild the Brain

 
By Don Goewey

Many of us are not taking our vacation time.  Instead of taking time to renew, the Harris Poll says most of us are working harder than ever, an average 49 hours a week. We are putting in 100-200 more hours per year than our parents.  We sleep less than our parents did; one to two hours less.  Those are averages; you might be working more and sleeping less than that.

Two Million Years of Lost Vacation Time


More than one in three of us forfeit vacation time. We talk about vacations, plan them, dream about them and then fail to take one. As much as a half billion vacation days will go unused this year. That equates to nearly two million years of lost vacation time.  If we do take a vacation, we take work with us.  A survey found that 92% of those away on vacation frequently check in with the office.  If that weren’t not bad enough, the American Dietetic Association found that 35% of us never take a break while at work. We eat lunch at our desk working at our computer, returning emails and phone calls, or organizing our desk.

Believe it or not, breaks are an important element in peak performance. Researchers found that activity in the hippocampus and neocortex increased during periods of wakeful rest, especially after learning something new. The hippocampus and neocortex generate everything we think of as intelligence.  Another way of saying this is: refusing to take a break is a decision to be stupid that day.  Refusing vacation is a decision to grow dumber in the coming year.

Why Do We Skip Vacation?


We skip vaction because we worry that the person next to us will get ahead while we’re gone. Or we’re afraid that the work piling up on our desk will put us so far behind that we’ll never catch up. If we look deeper, we might see a mix of paranoia and obsessive-compulsivity behind these concerns, neurologically generated by stress. As our stress level spills over the top, which is usually a month before vacation time, it floods our brain with stress hormones. These hormones erode the higher brain function that sustains peak performance.

All I am Saying is Give Peace a Chance

 
By Don Goewey

Neuroscience has found a direct relationship between brain function and inner peace and here is what they have found. Our brain is at its creative, intellectual, social and emotional best when we are at peace.

So what does it mean to be at peace? First, let me state what it does not mean. Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, or problems, or hard work to get done. As that famous poster says, peace means to be in the midst of these things and still be calm in your heart and clear minded.

Peace is a calm, clear sense of your own power without the need to overpower others.

Peace is unafraid, unhurried, and resilient. It is open to experience, self-confident in attitude and always curious.

The fearlessness of peace generates the optimal brain function that achieves the elevated state of mind in which ordinary genius arises. The clarity of peace orients the mind to the opportunity and solution implicit in any given problem.

Peace is a total orientation to the light inside of people. It is a disinterest in judging others, ourselves or events. It is the willingness to forgive. It is the acceptance of people and events exactly as they are and, as such, it is the end of conflict.

Peace is honesty that is compassionate and compassion that is not co-dependent.

Worry - The Fiction That Rarely Happens

 
By Don Goewey

Mark Twain said: My life has been filled with calamities, some of which actually happened. There seems to be nothing more fictitious than the worry that goes on in our heads.  Now there is a study that proves it.   The now famous study by Matthews and Wells at the University of Cincinnati found 1 that eight-five percent (yes, 85%) of what we worry about never happens Moreover, 79% of us handle the 15% that does happen in ways that surprise us with our ability to turn the situation around.   Dr. Robert Leahy of the American Institute for Cognitive Therapy suggests that we write our worries down on a regular basis and see if they come true.  If you find that the content is always shifting, it indicates worry is a habit.

We laugh at Mark Twain’s joke because it's so true.  But worry is no joke.  It causes serious problems.  Worry is the threshold to clinical depression.  The stress reactions   makes us prone to disease and the stress hormones it produces debilitates higher brain function.  Seniors who worry are twice as likely to develop dementia.

The good news is that conquering worry is simpler than one might think. A tool as simple as The Clear Button can head worry off at the pass.  Here's how it works:

The 84th Problem

 
BuddhaBy Don Goewey

A once well-to-do farmer had heard that the Buddha was a wonderful teacher and went to see him, seeking resolution to a set of distressing problems.

“I’m a landowner,” he told the Buddha, “And I love to watch my people working in the fields and to see my crops grow. But last summer we had a drought and nearly starved. This summer, we had too much rain and some of my crops did poorly.”  The Buddha listened and nodded compassionately.

“I have a wife too. She’s a good woman and a wonderful wife. But sometimes she nags me. To tell the truth, sometimes I grow tired of her.”  Again, the Buddha nodded.

“I have three children. Two are basically good, and I am very proud of them. But sometimes these two refuse to listen to me or pay me the respect I deserve.  My oldest son is not so good.  He drinks far too much and now he’s wandered off .  He’s been gone a year and I don’t know where he is or even if he’s alive.”  The man began to cry and the Buddha’s face filled with compassion.

The farmer carried on like this for another hour.  When he had exhausted himself, he turned to the Buddha and said, “Please tell me what to do,” fully expecting to receive an answer that would solve all his problems.    
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