By Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, Ph.D. 

“My brother lost his job,” said my friend, Sam. Will you give him some tips? I asked how much of a network his brother  had and Sam turned to me with a shoulder shrug. “What do you think?” We both had discussed his brother’s tendancy to stay in the background in work and in life so I knew the answer. Not much.

Plugging into a cold network of professional and personal connections is hard. People want to know that you are interested in them from time to time, not just when you are job seeking.

So if Sam’s sibling does want to talk to me, I will suggest that he waste no time in connecting with work and professional colleagues, past and present.

I will also share three steps he can take immediately.

By Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, Ph.D.

I took a wrong turn on my way to Coudersport, PA. No.  I had not heard of the town either but it was where I was booked for a training gig; a 2 1/2 hour ride from the Buffalo airport.  I wondered what I was thinking or drinking when I said yes.

Slave to an uncooperative GPS, I found myself driving 5 miles down a cow path to the next dirt road. Red barns shining in the sun, green grass shimmering and not a bathroom to be seen. As I alternated between slight panic and awe at nature’s splendor, I wondered where the people had gone to in this twilight zone reality. There were houses and cars but not a person anywhere. I saw a tractor, a few kids selling pumpkins but no stores. There were billboards but definitely no nail salons. I finally saw a real road in the distance and inhaled and exhaled relief when I realized I actually might arrive before dark.

I rolled into town, even happy to find my hotel with the “No Dirty Workboots Inside” sign. I grabbed a sandwich in one of two restaurants in town before closing time at 8:00 p.m. and stumbled upon open mike night at a sweet little bar. Guitar music, friendly folks and a warm laid back feeling in this comfy small town.

By Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, Ph.D. 

Holding a mirror up to ourselves ain’t always easy. In this piece by Joann Lublin of the WSJ called How To Look and Act Like  A Leader we learn about the various ways managers are addressing the issue of how they look and sound.

I agree that it is often the non-verbals that kill the deal. Judging by the  WSJ comments, not everyone agrees. Some write that this kind of training unfairly focuses on women. Others think that it is a topic not even worth writing about. And a few link it to credibilty. I agree with the last camp. How we dress, how we sound and how we use our body do form an impression.

The often quoted stats are that 73% of our impact concerns our vocal and non-verbal presence. While these numbers have been questioned, I do think it is generally true. Leaders can command a room or they can speak and have their message land with a thud. It can be their tight shirt,  lack of eye contact or chair slouching. Either way, it is typically not the content but how they present themselves when delivering it. Introverted and extroverted leaders alike can work at coming across in a more  confident manner.

So how do you get started on enhancing your presence?

By Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, Ph.D.

I had another stimulating dialogue with innovator and author Laura Goodrich on Future Work Radio Our conversation addressed how we  can make meaningful connections in the global workplace. These same principles can apply if you are a Project Manager that needs to travel abroad as well.

Some of the highlights? Do your research by learning to pronounce names. Laura interviews her clients ahead of gigs and asks them to pronounce everyone’s name. She records this and listens on the plane ride over. Also understand the importance of attending after hour events which lead to business.  Prepare some conversation starters and questions to reduce your stress in these social situations.

And one other observation. My last trip was to Spain and the Netherlands. I noticed most people “unplugged” from their devices (unlike in the U.S.). Even in places that offered free wifi (pronounced “weefee” in Europe) this seemed to be the case. What were people doing instead? Relaxing, conversing with friends and reading. What a refreshing idea! Consider taking a line from the introvert playbook and take the time to recharge yourself.

By Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, Ph.D.

I attended a panel discussion last week sponsored by a dynamic company called Newscertified Exchange. The program was called Influencing the Headlines: Empowering Women For Global Media. While I didn’t learn a great deal of new information, it was heartening to walk away with some validating thoughts:

1. We are all on this journey together and everyone feels overwhelmed to a certain extent.

1. NO ONE  is the expert in social media and we each have our preferences and sweet spots.

1. I also was reminded of the importance of knowing your purpose and having a strategy before you post everywhere. I still hear from many introverts that they appreciate the chance to reflect and consider their message before “speaking” on line.

Our hosts were kind enough to gather some of the key points from the program. Let me pass them on to you:

Do a personal inventory to find your voice. Start with what you have and what is in your heart. What do you love to talk about? What do you have in your life?

By Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, Ph.D.

Fast Company’s cover story on March 16th addresses Google’s Larry Page and his introversion. Staff writer, FARHAD MANJOO writes:

“With its new CEO an introvert, perhaps Google will never tap its inner Apple. But maybe, in the bigger picture, that’s a trade-off worth making. Page is not a CEO out of central casting, despite the fact that Wall Street and the media tend to prefer extroverts as leaders: the superhero who puffs out his chest and delivers bold, motivating pronouncements. ”

The piece also mentions the new research coming out by the Harvard/Wharton/UNC team that we have cited here before. The Gino, Grant and Hofman team found Introverted leaders to be more effective in listening and creating dialogue with their teams. It also makes the case that introverts do well when they integrate some extroverted people and approaches into the mix.

By Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, Ph.D.

Recently, I heard about the sudden, unexpected death of my friend, CJ Dorgeloh, of Asheville, NC. I am trying to make some sense, (is there any to be made?) of this shocking news.

CJ was a brilliant project manager, facilitator and proponent of peace. But she was so much more than a job title. When I met C.J. in Atlanta over 12 years ago, I, like so many others, was immediately drawn into her light.

She had that rare blend of creativity and organization. In one moment she could be arranging a friend’s entire office.  In the next, she was navigating the tricky waters of corporate meetings.

I will always remember the  joyful emails and beautiful nature photos she sent after a move to Bainbridge Island, WA. Her updates sounded so full of hope and wide-eyed wonder at the beauty around her.

By Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, Ph.D.

I remember the day the mimeo machine gave way to the Xerox copier.  And now disappearing with that blue ink comes another relic of the baby boomers; the telephone.

I knew it was coming.  Honestly though, I read this recent NY Times piece, Don’t Call Me, I Will Call You with mixed emotion. The basic premise is that the telephone is dead.  Pamela Paul writes,

“It’s at the point where when the phone does ring — and it’s not my mom, dad, husband or baby sitter — my first thought is: “What’s happened? What’s wrong?” My second thought is: “Isn’t it weird to just call like that? Out of the blue? With no e-mailed warning?”

By Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, Ph.D.

Author and consultant Bill Treasurer, the courage expert, shares so much wisdom about how we need to lean into courage every single day. He has a new dynamic training program that is getting rave reviews. I love his examples of companies like Dove and Domino’s Pizza and how their risks paid off.

Of course, I asked Bill about our favorite topic: introverted leaders. Here is some of what he shared,

“……one of the main types of courage I talk about is called “TELL Courage” – the courage of “voice” and assertiveness. This is the courage of the truth-teller, and it’s very difficult to exhibit, particularly at lower levels in an organization. For the introverted leader, TELL Courage does not necessarily have to be done verbally. Sometimes it is best to talk less and express more. Writing a POV article for the company newsletter, for example, where the leader takes a bold stand, can be an expression of TELL Courage.”