Characteristics of Insatiable Males. Part 3

By Bob Rausch, Ph.D.

Escapes the Insatiable Male May Use

Insatiable males employ several escapes to alleviate the misery they feel. These escapes fall into one of these categories:

• Alcohol or drug abuse

• Over-involvement in their careers

• Excessive physical exercising

• Emotional or sexual indiscretions.

His chosen escape will be pursued with a vengeance. However, it only serves to temporarily relieve the pain, which returns more powerfully than ever. Each escape is one more thing that he can't get enough of.

Insatiable men are a unique and fascinating breed. They are a product of a "personality culture" that demands success. They came from families who expect them to have the good life and fulfill the "all American" dream. Now that the good life is an illusion they are looking for ways to change. This desire for change provides the coach a golden opportunity.

First Steps in Shifting Insatiable Characteristic

What to do? Keep in mind insatiable characteristics will always be a part of his personality. However, he can learn to develop new patterns of behavior. Generally, for this shift to take place it takes a crisis or the desire for something better. Only then will he be open to change.

The first step in shifting insatiable characteristics is awareness of what they are and how they serve the man. I use the characteristics listed above as a starting place. The characteristics of proving self, pleasing others, and hyper-responsibility were not the result of the early learning. Since they are learned, they can be replaced with new learning.

The second step is to recognize the true internal strengths of the insatiable male. One of the difficulties here is that they have been focused on performance and have little insight into their strengths. What strengths does he possess? How can he use those strengths to create satisfaction?

These two steps create a "bench mark" for behavioral change. From here he can formulate strategies that allow for more satisfying behaviors.

Changing insatiable male characteristics can be extremely difficult. These men have invested a lot of time on performance. Change is accomplished by creating a new approach to how he handles work, home, and his personal life. Taking the steps to shift these behaviors creates personal energy and satisfaction.